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Help me find my Wai

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"When an inner situation is not made concsious it appears outside as fate" - Carl Jung

Nicola Chan is the founder of Waishee Coaching for Mind & Body. A professional Life Coaching business that includes NLP, Hypnothrapy and Fitness Training as she believes the best results come from the integration of Mind & Body.    Nicola also hosts a Radio show called Waishee Radio on 91.8 Hayes fm where she Interviews Inspiring guests to tell their stories.    She says "if you think you are the only one, then listen to someone's story. Someone has already had that problem and found a solution. There is comfort in knowing you are not alone"     Nicola hopes to change the world by helping women to love their bodies, end dieting and start showing up by standing in their own beautiful red shoes!

This year of the dog was all about change

2018 the year of the dog on the Chinese calendar 

It's my year this year as I was born in 1982 which means it's my prosperous and creative year of change. The time to take Action and start having fun in life. 

 

2 years ago after my friend and co-host of the tv series fithappens died of cancer I was reminded how quickly life can vanish and it gave me some urgency on my own life. One of the things Keith taught me was to 'live life to the fullest' and so I began my Personal Development journey. 

 

"If you don't go within, you go without" 

 

Once I trained up as an NLP coach and started coaching clients I was very aware that the clients that sat in front of me reflected my own 'shadows'. It is so true that the world always gives us a mirror to see ourselves.

 

In my mirror was negative unfullfilling  relationships, and an unhappy marriage.

 

A year later, I completed my Master practitioner course which includes my own Time Line Therapy and I went through a lot of healing and growth.

 

I left feeling like a changed woman. Fearless. Not bound by the confides of my own mind..a deep understanding that my limitations were not real and that I really could create a magical fullfuilling and refreshing life! 

 

I love that word.. 'refreshing'. 

 

I challenged my old belief system including how I felt about Marriage, what I really valued and believed in (not what I was led to believe by society and my upbringing) and I put pen to blank paper to write my next chapter. 

 

My next chapter involved the break up of my marriage, if not now, then when?. There is only NOW. My life was waiting for me. As soon as I had the courage to break up this relationship law of attraction bought someone new into my life and I fell in love with a man who I now share a deep concsious relationship. 

 

The rest of the year so far has been about nourishing my foundations, clearing up and redecorating my home. It now feels like a home. And embracing my feminine "surrendering" energy. Allowing life to...just be. Acceptance, forgiveness (as you can imagine a family break up is difficult for the whole family and extended family). I've learnt a lot of lessons the hard way. I also have compassion and learnt how to give unconditional love. 

 

Now my foundation, my roots are growing nicely I can embrace my Masculine energy and get back to writing, speaking and studying as the journey continues....... 

 

This year of the dog, I most definitely found my Wai.

 

Will you be open to having some help to help you find yours? 

 

With love Nicola x

Does your decision feel light or heavy?

Does your decision feel light or heavy? I have felt guilt about letting go of my relationship especially because i thought it would last forever. I have felt like a failure. I failed at marriage...marriage is for life I thought. I once believed in something which I no longer do. I changed. I have been judged by people who looked at the picture perfect marriage but didn't see the cracks in that picture. People who think you can just work through anything. However you can't change other people, you can only change yourself. Making the decision to leave is never easy, it actually takes courage, strength and respect for yourself and your partner. Feeling all those fears above and doing it anyway. Many stay in that relationship just because of these fears and because of the fear of being alone. Fears of finances, hassle of splitting possessions, organising childcare etc etc... so many 'convenient' reasons to stay but non of them love or respect. For me the fact that I was in indecision meant I'd already made a decision but I'd not taken action. Listening to my intuition, my body yearned for freedom. I valued freedom over security. Suddenly my whole life felt insecure. But, Having a marriage, having a job, a house. Non of these things really make us secure. We can't rely on materials and we cant rely on other people to make us feel secure. The definition of feeling insecure means we feel vulnerable and inferior. To feel secure we need to feel safe and protected. I believe we can find this through unconditional self love. Surrender and trust. Trust myself that if I end up alone, I'll be ok. If I end up lost, I'll find my way... Today I have freedom. Freedom of choice, freedom to choose to stick around those people who judged me or to find new people. Freedom to express myself. Freedom to feel the fear and choose to do it anyway. Freedom to be myself. Freedom to eat in a way I think fuels my body and my soul Freedom to dance stupidly in the kitchen to cheesy music. Freedom to stay up in the night when i cant sleep and make deep emotionally charged posts such as this. There are no rules. I get to decide. Does this 'thing' feel heavy or light? Enjoy tuning in because you have all the answers Even as a coach I merely facilitate you to find your own WAI